baby aspirin’s top ten of 2012
baby aspirin best of 2012 (in no particular order):
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1. @wild_egg twitter - powerful, raw insight on intrinsic desires, physique mystique, and reckless individualism. also, stoned cat jokes.
2. bikram yoga - challenging, steamy 90-minute seshes, immediately followed by perhaps an even greater challenge: rolling dirty underwear up a salty pair of legs onto a filthy sweat-covered body at peak exhaustion. look in the mirror and feel the inimitable reinvigoration, “who want dis?”
3. playing with real babies - these lil fuckers don’t care how much you drank last night. you are going to get punched in the nuts and you will like it.
4. board games with the gonzalez family - it’s the type of work that an outsider can immediately recognize as the result of decades of effort and refinement. cisco and his brothers have created a dizzyingly-varied palette of what one may call “mouth sound effects,” of which accompany every action and game piece movement. from dynamic, sprawling “splooshes” to subtle, expressive “gleeks,” these boys-turned-men have examined and redefined every touchstone in the oral synth compendium.
5. solitude - go on, eat that bag of paper clips. there’s a range of flavors to explore here. if you go for a walk, don’t forget your camera. immanent power and freedom from all dependencies; subsist on nothing.
6. flange - you can plug literally EVERYTHING into a flanger. bass, synth, drums, pizza, cats, or whatever inane bullshit you surround your life with. it’s magic! see for yourself! reality is subject to arbitrary human power structures, but your relationship to the physical realm as relayed by your percept system need not be! for added ateleological and aleatory entertainment, throw in a multi-bandpass filter and arbitrarily modulate the resonant peaks.
7. the semicolon (;), [this entry interchangeable with “sexual intercourse”] - a lot of people are telling me it [is both healthy and] exists for a reason, but by golly i have no idea how this shit works. jolly good hours of being straight-up baffled! put your shoes on the wrong feet, ring the doorbell, ‘sup?
8. homogeneity - am i drinking water from the glass? do you grok my meaning? i don’t smoke cigarettes for the weak “high” associated with nicotine, i do it so that my personal potential of particle collision through entropy is maximized at any given moment. have an effect on everything around you.
9. drone strikes - hahaha this shit is so wack! am i already on the “no fly” list for typing “drone strike”? surely i took a plane ride this weekend, but who is to say i was actually flying? i don’t believe it. “truth is a sheath in which we store our tidy little american complacency.” - rage against the machine 2013.
10. storage wars - gets me every time when that dave guy is like YUUUUP!
honorable mentions:
- baltimore annex theater “ubik” (i would put this at no. 1 but i have an obvious bias)
- putting a big nasty chain on your car
- tin foil tape
- break ups
- mickey z’s neighbors cindy and ricky








